Traffic Life : Passionate Tales and Exit Strategies
Edited by Stephan Wehner
An Anthology
 
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126 First, you buy a car Second, you sit back down in the motor vehicle, turn the key, start up, and drive away. The advertisements promised so much, and you quickly find yourself out on the high- way, cruising along and as happy as a lark. You turn on the radio and sing along, not noticing the sign about speed cameras operating in the area. Eventually you drive home, and look forward to many more trips from here to there and elsewhere. Once you have bought the motor vehicle, other things seem to flow right along too. Thus, you have to buy petrol. The petrol has to be of the right octane level, but that is easy. The people at the petrol station know. They are happy to help. You pay with a smile. You still wonder a bit though about paying Goods and Services Tax of 12.5 percent, on top of the cost of the petrol and the government tax. That works out to be a tax on tax, which should be illegal! And oil. The oil has to be of the right viscosity, and even though you don't know quite what viscosity means, the people at the petrol station do. They must! And you have to remember to check and make sure you have water for the windshield and for the radiator. You pay their bill for oil too. Then you suddenly think about your license to drive. It has been a few years since you got a license, and you have to be sure your driver's license is up to date. No problem, you just know you had one a few years ago. It must be around somewhere. You notice too, that you need a new motor vehicle license plate, for the one from the motor vehicle lot belongs to the lot and the salesperson wants it back tomorrow. You have to find the location of the motor vehicle registration place, where they happily tell you that you need the title and your driver's license. And, of course you have to get the insurance for the mo- tor vehicle, and for yourself in case you run into someone or perhaps if someone runs into you. And you will need in- surance for uninsured drivers for if they don't have insur- ance, then you will still be covered. You go to the insurance
  
Robert Gregory 127 agency, and they explain patiently that you have to show your driver's license first. The insurance sales people all have smiles on their faces. You pay their bill, knowing that all will come out favourably. After all, you know, 'she'll be right!' Thus you go home and search and eventually find your license but note that it expired a year or so ago. You ring the transport people and get scheduled for a driver's test for the new license, but you have to wait three weeks. They are quite busy. 'Bring your mate along with you,' they say. Naturally you are disappointed, but it is only three weeks and you will be able to drive your motor vehicle again. In the meantime, once you have the motor vehicle, then you need a garage. You look for a place to rent near your home, as the street does not have sufficient space, and af- ter all, you would not want someone to steal your motor vehicle. When you find a place, then you move the motor vehicle there. The owner smiles. You pay the bill. Of course, you also get a lock to place across the steering wheel when you park somewhere, so no one can steal your beautiful motor vehicle. The automobile accessories shop personnel smile. Again you pay the bill. Then you need waxes and polish and cleaning equip- ment. After all, a motor vehicle should be kept looking lovely, and dirt does damage the finish. Again, the auto- mobile accessories shop folks smile at you. They seem as happy as the proverbial 'box of birds!' You pay their bill. You spend a couple of days polishing, rubbing, and coax- ing the best finish out of your motor vehicle with new creams and waxes and shines. You pay extra for the best quality finishes, as you would not want just soap and water. A good finish is 'as good as gold!' Then you figure you might need an inspection by the me- chanics at the local automobile association, just to be sure. They note that the tires are bald, and must be replaced, oth- erwise you can't get a warrant of fitness and a registration. You pay their bill for inspection, and watch them smile. Then you go to the tire store and buy five new tires, one for a spare. They will install them for just a bit more, and

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